My delegate doens't get a vote....

Dear President Bush,
Please do not attack Iran. I think we can all agree that this guy is much crazier than Saddam. In fact, Saddam is just the weird uncle that comes around on the holidays compared to this guy. W, he's crazy. It doesn't matter what intelligence says, he doesn't care about the U.S.. He cares about Israel, and Holocaust 2.0 (which in his view would actually be the first one). He merely uses the U.S. to gain support from other U.S. haters should something happen. Let him be, he'll cause trouble by attacking someone on his own, with little cause, then you can attack with everyone behind you saying, "yeah America, kick him in the balls". His hope is that you will attack first, making us the bad guys and gaining him support with say, Russia (who i don't think recieves our fan mail), and taking the pressure off of him. Attacking first will only drive our currency down even further, and prohibit me from being financially able to buy gas to drive my SUV which i love so much, it is part of my identity. Thankyou for taking time to read my letter, and not pushing the flashy red button in front of you.

Scott

Interview with Crazy McLunatic

I'm not very political these days, especially since i now am a resident of a territory and have no voting rights. Actually i haven't really talked about politics in a long time accept to nod my head when someone else is speaking on it. It is exausting keeping up with both sides on even just one area of debate. I have more important things to learn right now than to read the latest Anne Coulter or Al Franken book. But i have been following what Capt Insano from Iran has to say over the last couple of months. He is not going away anytime soon, and is going to cause lots of problems in the world. He worries me, and so does the fact that we can severly mishandle him if we are not careful. That's all i ahve to say until until '08. (Hillary vs Condi, man that would be somethin)

Community Math

A man is driving home late at night. He is in a place and time where hitch hiking is normal and safe, its just part of life there. This place is also very small, so at midnight, there is hardly anyone on the roads. He comes up on a light post with a woman standing under it trying to get a ride. He pulls over and tells her how far he is going as is the custom if you choose to stop and offer a ride here. As soon as she opens her mouth he realizes she doesn't speak much English as she just says the name of the one town there is. He isn't going that far and she doesn't want to go only part way, and that is perfectly acceptable here. A person will just wait for the next one to come along. But it is midnight......

As he drives on, he starts doing math in his head. Its late and the man is really tired and needs to get to bed. He will be in bed in 15 minutes driving straight home. The woman obviously would like to be at home in bed as well. Once she gets a ride, she will be home and in bed inbetween 20-25 minutes. But, how long will it be before another car comes by, especially from the direction that it needs to be coming from in order to get her to town? And there is no guarantee they will stop to even offer (the odds are 50-50 on a person stopping). And if they do stop and offer, there is still a huge chance they aren't going all the way to town just like the man. It could easily be another 20-30 minutes before a car comes by, and again we have the 50% chance of them even stopping, and after that of them not going as far as she is which would leave her still standing there, so say 40 minutes which is extremely conservative and unlikely. She will probably be there longer than that. So if we quantify the minutes and add them, we get 15+20+40= 75. That is our total outcome on everyone being where they want to be (but is probably much higher).

Now, he can turn around and go back after realizing this, and add 15 minutes roundtrip from where he would normally stop to town and back. And this option completely eliminates the question of how long she will wait until the next car stops and can give her a ride. So if we do the same math, we have 15+20+15=50 for everyone to be where they want to be. This number however is certain, unlike the number above. This shows that it is in the best interest of the community (being the man and woman in the illustration) that he turn around and take her to her destination, then backtrack to his house.

Here is what I learned from this story. This is what it is to serve others. To instead of looking out just for number 1, to consider what it would take to look out for someone else as well. If we lived in the world alone, we could consider only ourselves and where we needed to be, and no one would be effected by our decision to do so. But this is not the case. Many times there is someone else involved. Often our numbers are not the only ones being effected by a decision, and if we took the time to do the "math", and make the best decision for everyone involved, the world would be a better place.

When Nature Calls...While in Nature

If you are guy, you will understand what i am about to say. You will smile to yourself and say, "yeah, he's right. i do love it". Thesis statement: Peeing outside is great. I don't know what it is about it, but its special. Maybe its the way it sounds hitting the ground. Maybe its that you don't have to aim at all (just keep it off the shoes). Maybe you just feel like you're part of nature at that moment, out in the elements, bein a man, doin what men do. And what do real men do? They pee outside. You may also find that going from an elevated place, say off of a deck, is even more fun. It is for this reason that i am emotionally torn. You remember Jason. Well recently this half of the Spanish Armada lost some recess time, I'll start from the beginning.
The surface of the sun (otherwise known as the playground) was extremely steamy that day. The kickball was intense. Tension was so high before the game that i knew i would have to be "All Time Roller" for both teams. I don't generally play kickball with them. If I were to play on a regular basis, our students would suffer from many more head injuries than is normal. It's not that i aim for their heads, its that my aim isn't very good. But my arm strength is, especially compared to that of a 2nd grader. So the game progresses. People are getting tagged out at home, miraculous catches are being made, and the number of home runs is incredible. The game even managed to arouse some spectators (those who are weak kickball players and generally don't even watch the game). No one wants to miss a thing. At this point, they will play dehydrated, injured, and crying with tears running down their cheeks as they make the out. Now Jason is intense. He loves playing more than anyone else i think has ever loved playing kickball on that court. He will slide across the surface of the sun without hesitation, without regard for self, a true lover of the game and everything it stands for. I look around to make sure the outfield is ready before the role (this kicker has chosen a "bouncy" role, so there is a better chance of a pop fly). But wait, what is Jason doing? Why is he by the telephone pole?
"Jason!!" i cry out in a convicting voice, as i know he is up to something, "What are you doing?". He quickly walks away form the pole and starts to play with the grass.
"Nothing" he replies as he paws the ground with his foot. "Can i go to the bathroom?"
I knew it, i knew it the moment i saw him standing there that way. Standing the same way i have stood so many times before (maybe not on a public playground). I know what's coming, i know what i have to do. "Jason, were you peeing on that pole?"
A sad, slow, and unconvincing "Nooo" comes his reply.
"Jason, were you just peeing?" I know, but i still don't want to believe. I walk to the pole, look down, and there it is. The Evidence. The sun reflects off of the wet spot near the base of it. The reflection off of it burns my eyes as i remove my polarized glasses. I can see where it started, and trace with my eyes the trail down the pole into the grass at its base. "Jason, why, why would you pee outside?"
An even slower "I dunno" while not making eye contact.
"What were you thinking?" I ask, although i know what was going through his mind at the time as i have had the same thoughts run through mine: It's here, I'm here, i have to go. The dog can go here, why can't I? Besides, it will save water by not having to flush, and it hasn't rained in a while so we really need the water.
He just stand there and shrugs his shoulders. "Jason, go inside to Mr. Loveland. You have no more recess this week."
I killed me to say it. The boy (and maybe even the man) inside of me says he did what he had to do. The teacher inside of me says i can't allow that on the playground. I am caught in a cosmic battle full of inner turmoil. My male instincts vs. teacher logic and reason. Can i really punish him for this? Shouldn't i praise him in front of the others for following his intuition and instincts? Alas, the game had to go on, I will deal with it later i tell myself. "Who's up?"
I tell Mr. Loveland about it when i get back. I explain my stress over it, and he agrees; peeing outside is good, but not on the public playground. Jason's Aunt is told about it when she picks him up. She sighs in a thick Spanish accent, "I know, i know. He always does this. He doesn't want to stop playing so he just holds it until he can't hold it anymore. Then he just has to go where ever he is."
Jason's love for playing, not just kickball, but playing anything is outstanding. He has a passion i admire. His love, when combined with skill, will take him to the top of whatever sport he may pursue. His only obstacle will be a bad public image for the many "Urinating in Public" violations/citations he will receive. I swear, when you work with kids it may not be a code yellow, but there is always gonna be something with urine.

***I wrote this originally for my e-mail group. If you want to be added, go to Vicarious Island Living to subscribe and read the other ones i've written.